THE GROWING PROJECT

You know how when you fill a soft shell taco that you start with just a little meat so you can have enough room for the rest of your toppings and yet the stupid thing just keeps growing and the shell busts all up anyway and you end up with a huge, beautiful, and still fabulous taco salad. Well, that makes me think of the project we just completed.

It started by moving the big guy's bed into a corner of the living room cause he hated sharing with his brothers (one snores and the other has night terrors, so who could blame him).  The intention was to slap up some temporary walls to create him a little cave.

The couch marks where the new wall will be.  It is tiny but he is happy. (this is not big guy and the dog somehow snuck in the house)  :)

Then we decided we may as well do a good job on the walls.  There are 4 kids in this house and I'm guessing this cave is going to be THE room for a while.  But we weren't sure what to do about the nasty carpet.  I've wanted to rip it out for a while (I HATE CARPET!) but the King has been hesitant to spend the moolah to get it done.  After all one room is just going to lead to another and we are TRYING to get debt free (a la Dave Ramsey but that is another post entirely).

....Then we started added all those yummy toppings and the little taco turned into the HUGE taco salad. This is how it happened.....

Thursday, April 18: The King went and got his haircut (which does tie into this story).  He was talking to his hairdresser who is also a good friend of the family and mentioned that he is so tired of everyone having coughs.  She answered that they have been so surprised at how little they cough now that they are in their new house with NO carpet.  (God Bless her!)  He came home ready to at least do some shopping.

Friday, April 19: We went to Menard's and found wood laminate on sale!  We waited and thought about it over the weekend (no impulse shopping here) and decided to go for it.

Monday April 22: Since he works near Menard's, he just picked up all the supplies over his lunch hour since we had already chosen exactly what we wanted.  Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I emptied the front room of all its furniture.  Seriously, I moved every single piece of furniture in the house I think.  I had to make room for the living room furniture and still make the house livable.

our kitchen is clearly not meant to be an eat in kitchen....but we made it work.  The boys are still doing school work. :)

Then I decided to see how hard it would be to rip up the carpet.  It turns out it is not hard at all!  (past the point of no return now right?)  Seriously, patience just isn't one of my strong points.  I had it all ripped up before he came home from work.  But for future reference it may be wise to cut it into sections as you rip it out.  It is REALLY heavy.

not hard to rip up at all.  :)  see that dirt...it is disgusting.  And the Kirby guy JUST showed us what an awesome vacuum he has.  Pffft!  Whatever!

Just keep going. just keep going.  just keep going.

and the carpet is GONE!  This is one of the rare times my kids have voluntarily picked up a broom.

This is the pile of dirt we found under the carpet. I vacuum.  I try to keep a clean house.  This is disgusting. This is why I hate carpet.  

As you look at those pictures, do you notice the paint?  It is a gold, kinda mustard-y yellow with a chocolate brown accent wall.  I really liked those colors when we put them up.  But the paint was getting chipped and scuffed and we were shrinking the room and the dark was just too dark.  Plus how silly would it be to NOT paint while there are no floors down.  So I begged my mom to help me so we could do it while the King was  at work.  He was not keen on the idea of painting and holding up the project.

Wednesday, April 23: Mom and the kids and I went back to Menards to pick out paint colors.  The walls will be Dutch Boy Homespun Linen and the trim in Superhide White.  Accent colors will all be "beachy" yellows, bright blues, with a little gray thrown in.  The King knew I was doing this and he was cool with it under 2 conditions 1: Don't ask him about the color choice.  He doesn't care.  and 2: (this was unspoken and assumed by me) He isn't helping with it.  ;)  Oh since I decided I wanted to paint all the trim I took it all down too (note to self: number trim as you take it down next time)

all the trim laid out and ready to paint.  

Thursday April 24:  daytime: Mom and I do a first coat on the walls.  I am convinced the change made angels sing.  :)
                               evening: the King and I build the stud wall for the big guy's room (remember that is what started this whole thing)

here is the new stud wall. All done and ready for paneling (which I haven't selected yet).  The first coat of paint is on and I promise it is not yellow.  the color is bad in this picture.

Friday April 25: morning: I did the first coat of paint on the trim.  (note to self: just buy white trim next time)  I also let all the kids paint a picture on the subfloor.  A "time capsule" of sorts.  

one of the pictures

the other time capsule paintings

                         afternoon:  Mom came down and we did the second coat on the walls.  Then since she is earning her sainthood she helped (by helped I mean did it for me) the second (and third) coat on the trim.  Hallelujah!
                       
Saturday, April 26: we cleaned up the floors, swept and swept and swept (you can not believe the amount of dirt and staples there still were).  We reinstalled the ceiling trim so we would be dragging a ladder across brand new floors
                             lunch: we started installing the new floors.  It took 8 hours and was SO beyond worth it.

first went in the underlayment for insulation, moisture and sound protection

just getting started

installed the last piece....perfection.  

Sunday, April 27:   The King had ministry in Indiana and my mom (God Bless Her!) offered to take all the kids to church with her so I spent the day putting things back where they belong and rearranging (of course). The walls on the big guy's room are clearly not finished.  I hadn't decided what I wanted up there....but now I know.  We'll be getting them later this week.

Big guy in his room  He's so excited and it is just stud walls for now.

My new room as it stands now.  That gold chair in the corner is gonna be recovered (it is falling apart) My rocker in the foreground will also be recovered but only cause I have the perfect fabric for it.  :)

My finished room from the "new hallway"....clearly no matter how nice things are I can't keep toys under control  LOL. 

And I'll be moving on to the decorating.  First thing hanging a shelf and some pictures once there is paneling.  Then reupholstering that gold chair.  Fabric is on its way!  :) I'll post updates as I get it done.

And that is why sometimes letting a little project grow and get out of hand turns out awesome in the end.  And we are having tacos for dinner tomorrow night....I think I'll make a taco salad  ;)                  

What is sin? And who are sinners?

I asked my older 2 boys to define sin and these are the answers they gave me...

-lying, doing bad things to other people, like calling them names, and bullying

-like, lying.

I looked in up the dictionary and this is what I found...

1a : an offense against religious or moral law

b : an action that is or is felt to be highly reprehensible <it's a sin to waste food>

c : an often serious shortcoming : fault

2

a : transgression of the law of God

b : a vitiated state of human nature in which the self is estranged from God

When asked who sinners are they answered

-person who does bad things

-someone who does bad things and calls people names

The Bible tells us that sin is anything that separates us from God.  Sin cannot be near Him.  And this is what I thought about as I read the articles concerning the Boston Marathon Bombings.  The 2 suspects are sinners.  They've intentionally killed, maimed, and otherwise traumatized a nation.  There is no doubting it.  And I hate them for it.  And that, right there, is the hang up.  I hate them for what they've done to my country.  Many think, and I can't say that I disagree, that they deserve hell.  In one of the articles I read, their father says that "all hell will break loose if his other son is killed" and one of the comments by a reader was "No sir, all hell will not break loose, it will only be a little more crowded"  and I laughed.  I laughed as I thought about these young men going to hell because of what they have done.  That is hatred.  And that is sin.  And it is no longer funny.

It is easy to point fingers and blame when the sin is blatant and horrible....like a bombing or a shooting.  It is easy to judge that sin.  But what about "everyday" sin.  "Little white lies" (there are no such thing), laziness, bad language, lust, drunkeness, gossip, gluttony, or hatred.  Those sins are easy to hide, to justify, to ignore, or even to convince ourselves that they are ok.  As humans, it is easy to qualify sin.  Put it in a list of ok, bad and worse.  God does not do that.  Sin is sin is sin.  There is no qualification.  He can not abide any of it.  It all separates us from Him.  

1 John 3:15 reads "Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him."  Notice this verse does not say he is LIKE a murderer....he is a murderer. And there is no eternal life in him.  Hatred is a sin.  End of story.

Or try 1 John 4:20 "Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen."  - We can not love God and hate another at the same time....that makes us a liar.  Double whammy.  Hatred and lying...sin and sin. That's bad news too.

And if that isn't enough.  Read the sermon on the mount.  Jesus talks about  -Murder (Mathew 5:21-26) and likens it to anger.  OUCH!

-Adultery (Matthew 5:27) and likens it to looking lustfully at another who is not your spouse.  Oops!

-judging others (Matthew 7:1-2)

By these standards I am guilty of murder DAILY as I am angry about something in some way almost every day.  SIN!  I am guilty of adultery any time a new Avengers movie comes out because I just love watching those superheros.  SIN!  And I am guilty of judgement more often than I can count....from the Boston Bombers to the lady yelling at her kids in Walmart or the guy who cuts me off in traffic.  Plus, by the standards of 1 John 4:20, not only am I a murderer (for hatred) but also a liar because I also claim to love God (which the Bible clearly states is not possible).  SIN!  I am occasionally lazy, gluttonous, and I gossip.  SIN, SIN and SIN!  As I make this laundry list though I can be confident that God does not have this list of my daily shortcomings....

He tells us not to worry, to love our enemies, to quietly pray, fast, and give to the needy.  He tells us to turn the other cheek when someone hurts us.  Am I doing all these things?  In a word, NO.  And what does that say?  I. am. a. sinner.  This should not be a surprise, and its not.  I've never considered myself perfect (nor would I want to attempt it....just too much stress since it doesn't come naturally).  But it does kinda sting to feel myself being compared (even in my own mind)to the likes of a person who would willfully and with intent blow up a bunch of people.  Or with the abortionist who murders babies every day.  Or with any other more "publicized" form of sin.  And yet, I am just like them in my sin.  I am a sinner and I am in great need of the saving grace of a Lord and Savior...just like them. 

There is one major difference.  I have accepted the saving grace of the Lord and Savior and I can call Him mine.  Because of that, I do have eternal life within me.  Not because I am not sinner.  Only because I am saved by His grace.  This does not excuse my sin.  With the help of the Holy Spirit residing in me, I become more like Christ each day, in spite of my sinful nature.  I can say that I will never set a bomb off or go on a shooting spree, but I will still fail my Lord each and every day.  A personal relationship with Him and His forgiveness are the only things that saves me.  It is not and never will be my lack of sin.

So I am going to try something.  As I pray for the victims, I am going to pray for the bombers, and the abortionists, and sinners (myself included).  Because although I hate their (my) sin I am told to love them (Matthew 5:43-48).  I don't yet love them.  (It is easier to love myself because I rationalize my sin away)  But in prayer I hope to learn to love them and admit/change my own sin.  I do not think it will be easy but it what Christ called us to do.  Love our enemies.  And my sin is not "better sin" than theirs.  Sin is Sin is Sin and apart from the saving grace of Jesus, which everyone is free to accept, we are all condemned to the same fate.  

Greater Homeschool Convention Cincinnati!!!

Just got back from the homeschool convention.  I go each year, usually with girlfriends and NO kids!  Of course, there are a ton of kids there but none of them are my responsibility!  And absence does in fact make the heart grow fonder!  :)

I left with a friend on Thursday morning and we drove for Cincinnati.  On Thursday evening we went to a session by a woman named Dr Kathy Koch (pronounced Cook) on teaching to the 8 intelligences and it changed everything for the whole conference for me.  I had gone through the book and selected many sessions to attend on discipline and teaching obedience and things of that nature.  We have been struggling SO much with school work and defiance that I just wanted to whip them into shape (figuratively, of course). But I went back through and made sure I was going to ALL of Dr. Koch's sessions.  Yep, I became a groupie.  And proud of it!  Check out her website here

And then I realized maybe discipline isn't the problem....maybe these kids aren't ME (duh!) and I need to come around to their way of thinking better.  I mean I only have 2 doing "real school."  The princess is "just" creating confetti and other messes.  And Little Boy is doing some light school work.  Even when all four are in the trenches, won't it still be easier to teach them how they learn rather than how I do.  Talk about a lightbulb moment.

So I chose a different history curriculum...one that teaches to all 8 intelligences.  I love our science curriculum so I just need to actively DO the projects instead of dropping them all the time.  We are sticking with our handwriting program.  It works well and uses Bible verses.  We are also sticking with our math program (it ROCKS!) We aren't even finishing the grammar that we've been using this year.  It is dry and boring and no one is learning ANYTHING!  I bought a hands on grammar program for next year.  Hopefully, it will be better.  Plus, we're adding a activity based US geography program I think we will all enjoy.  Spelling will be done on the iPad (can I get a woooohooooo!)  And sincve writing is such a challenge because they are boys and HATE the mechanics of putting pencil to paper, they are doing a typing program.  I think that covers it.

Little Boy will continue with phonics.  And he and the Princess will be doing a literature based program, as well as sit in on the big boys stuff and pick up what they can.  I am excited!

Here is our list:
Math - Math U See
Science - Apologia Swimming Creatures
Social Studies - History Revealed : Romans, Reformers, Revolutionaries
Grammar - Applied Grammar
Spelling - Sequential Spelling (for iPad)
Phonics - 100 Easy Lessons plus a teacher Created Resource for Phonics (wkbk)
Typing - Typing Instructor
Handwriting - A Reason For Handwriting
Geography - Trail Guide to US Geography                  
For the little- Five in A Row

I think that covers it.  :)

So we are also in the process of moving school to the dining table.  I want cubbies for them all to keep their supplies in and found an awesome shelf at IKEA.  But I am cheap at my core and would rather spend that $90 on something else so I've taken a bookshelf that we already have and weren't using.  I turned it on its side and it is the perfect size.  Just need to buy a few brackets and ready made shelves at Menards to make the cubbies and then probably paint it.  I'll post pictures when its done!

So that's the convention report.

Room Research and Inspiration!

The boys are getting split up.  The Prince HATES sharing with his 2 younger brothers (one snores and one has night terrors so I can't really blame him).  This requires some ingenuity and creativity from us.  See, the 3 boys are/were sharing the master bedroom as it is the biggest in the house.  That meant they also have their own bathroom and that "boy bathroom smell" (eeeew!) was contained to their "wing" of the house.  The King and I share the smallest bedroom (we don't really need more space than that anyway) and our Princess is across the hall from us.  So where to put the Prince in his own room.

I had a brainstorm and it is going to work out just great.  We moved the Prince into a corner of the living room.  We are going to be building a "wall" that will be about 8 foot tall but won't go to the ceiling to give him some air flow in there.  It will be a small (aka tiny) room but he is thrilled.  For now he is just sleeping in the living room.  Hopefully, we'll get his walls built soon.

But all this moving rooms means I am going to work on some decorating.  So I've been perusing Pinterest (duh!) for ideas.  The 2 little boys want a Superhero Room and I am totally on board with that.  The Prince wants his room to be like a hunting cabin and that is great too (we'll even use old barn siding on the wall we are building).  It really shows each of their personalities well.  

I've found some excellent blogs and ideas and I've enjoyed checking them all out....but I struggle with something....let me show you some of my FAVORITE pictures.  

Check out this totally awesome skyline and toy shelf!  I've already used those boxes as inspiration and made my boys some.  But why aren't hers overfilled and spilling over? And the top of the low shelf is empty... I just don't understand.
(photo from here)

And check out this kick butt bedroom!  I love the wall art (which is painted on a hollow core door-COOL!) and the bed is great for little guys. Oh and on her blog you can see the pillows on the bed which I am totally going to make.
 It is just SO CLEAN!   There aren't even any dirty underwear on the floor!   HOW? HOW do you do that?
(photo from here)

How does one have a play room that looks like this?  I love the colors, the  white (WHITE!) poof and the birdcages.
But where are the toys, the legos to impale my feet on, and the stains on the carpet?
(photo from here)

So how do I bring these ideas into fruition in my home?  I mean there are 6 of us.  Four of us are under 10 years old.  One of those 4 is a toddler and the other three are ALL boy!  We live, play, and homeschool here.  I will never, ever, ever, (seriously, EVER!) say that I am the world's greatest housekeeper.  But these bee-you-ti-ful rooms are a little too perfect for me.  I am not stupid and know they were cleaned up and "posed" for photos....but lets be real.  No child's room looks like this if that child is actually living there.  

So I'm going to take the ideas I like (cause there are a few that are just too cool to pass up) and brush off the nagging little voice that tells me I need to clean my house more often so it looks like a magazine (or blog) because just like I will never look like a photoshopped model neither will my home look like a "posed" home in a magazine or blog.

However, I guess it is time to stop writing and go pick up some toys!  Or maybe the Princess and I will read some books or color?  :)

Some Healthy Recipes we've recently tried and LOVED!

I've commited to one month of no junk food with my sister again.  We did 21 days at the beginning of the year and I felt great.  Basically, we are avoiding candy, sweets, chips, soda, fast food, and things like that.  Honestly, I think it looks a little different for each of us....but we are avoiding the same kinds of foods and holding each other accountable.  The biggest problem for me...I LOVE (I mean L.O.V.E.) chocolate and my afternoon snack.  Apart from those 2 things I just have to be aware of what I'm putting in my mouth and not eat mindlessly (or let my dear friend bring me sweet tea when we meet for a play date with the kids-you know who you are and don't tempt me with the offer).

So we tried some new recipes here in my house today.  Both I found via pinterest (hello?  is anyone really surprised?) And both were successes. 

We skipped the choc chips on top with no ill effects.
photo is from the blog Chocolate Covered Katie.  

Oatmeal is a staple in our home.  We eat it virtually every morning in one form or another.  I have not always been a lover of oatmeal.  Actually for the longest time I hated it.  But since my kids eat it almost every day (by request) I have found myself eating it more often....and with the right additions I am finding that I like it.  And I like staying full all morning.  Of course, an oatmeal recipe found at a blog called Chocolate Covered Katie has to be good.  And it was...very good and very filling!  We tried the 5 minute Chocolate Oatmeal.  It is sweetened with a banana (no joke!).  Since I had to multiply the recipe by 5, I didn't have quite enough bananas so I had to add a little sugar but it was most definitely a winner!  There is also a banana free version for you crazies who don't like them!  :)

Side note:  this is perfect with those bananas that are getting too ripe...when you get a bunch of bananas that are past their prime, peel them and throw them in a freezer bag in the freezer...save them for chocolate oatmeal or other baking recipes or smoothies.  If you don't peel them before freezing the peel will turn black...the banana is still fine and you can get the peel off with a paring knife.  Of course, I have to buy extra bananas and hope they last long enough to do this with them. 

Anyway, with recipes like Cinnamon Roll Baked Oatmeal, Sugar Cookie Oatmeal, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Baked Oatmeal, Blueberry Muffin in a Bowl, Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal, and Chocolate Mudslide Oatmeal (be still my heart that sounds good!)....I'll be back to visit her blog.  And I'll be able to get a chocolate fix without eating a candy bar (or a handful of chocolate chips from the bag-whatever!)  Cause who says oatmeal is only for breakfast anyway?

picture and recipe from the website Win, Lose, or Blog.  linked below

For our afternoon snack, I wanted to try something else new.  I found this recipe for microwaved apple slices that we tried.  There is no added sugar....just sprinkle on some cinnamon after its done.  We subbed a LITTLE nutmeg today because I ran out of cinnamon and won't have any till Friday and it was a hit.  The apples are tender and juicy (and HOT!).  The blog where I found it says it is like the inside of apple pie.  I would not go that far but it is really good and is a nice change up from a plain sliced apple or a apple dipped in peanut butter.  Two other staples in this house. (I think this would also be good with a nice juicy pear.)This recipe is another winner!  

So I'm feeling like no junk food isn't going to be so hard after all.  Both of these are healthy and yummy and satisfied the craving or the munchies just fine.  Both are mom and kid tested AND approved!  I'll be back with more recipes as I try them!  :)

Doldrums

This time of year is always hard for us.  Winter is essentially over...it isn't cold but it isn't really warm either.  We all have incredibly strong cabin fever(and yet are so busy I feel like our heads are spinning.)  But it is wet and muddy and too cold to go out and make mud pies.  And no matter how much I want to get my garden going it is not even close to time.  Plus we're coming to the last quarter of the school year and are suffering burn out in a BIG way.  Everyone is "edgy"....ready for a fight, on edge, and it happens all too often.  And yet we have to continue on with school and with everything else in some way.

Burnout is especially bad this year.  I am WORN OUT and tired of fighting the good fight. Yet we must continue.  And we are but it is not how I envisioned homeschooling to be....even once I realized (very quickly) it wasn't a walk through the daisies.  I have hopes and dreams of helping my kids learn to love learning and I feel like a failure.  But I know that public school is not the answer for my children (not that some don't succeed in public school - I did).  So on we go.  Through the rough patches.  Through the days of sunshine and roses (however few and far between).  Through the intense attitude problems.  And through the moments of glorious success.  Because although I (we) are weary now, spring is just around the corner and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  We will make it.

So often, I read homeschool blogs and they are all roses.  Some days I hate those blogs.  This picture of a homeschool family all sitting happily around the table with the older kids lovingly helping the younger and everyone playing a musical instrument and mom smiling serenely while the kids do as they are told the first time is a farce.  The craft projects, and science experiments, and all that make me wanna cry.  I mean maybe it exists somewhere other than the imagination of so many homeschool moms (like me).  But here is the truth of my household...  I am SOOOO thankful to be home with my children.  I love them all for every part of them (even the infuriating parts).  And yet...there are days that I just don't know what to do with or for them.

Today, as I write this,  I am sitting here available to help with their school work.  They each have subjects that they do primarily on their own and I stay at the table to help when I'm needed.  And here I sit all alone and they are off being disobedient.  So I write this article to spread my frustration.  Knowing they will have homework tonight.  And they will do it all lickety split, not even understanding the stress and frustration it causes me when they don't do it during school time.  I am very thankful during homework time that I have a husband who a)gets to be home every night and b) who is more than willing to do homework with them while I, well, just don't.

Then I look at the calendar and realize, only 17 days till the homeschool convention.  17 days till I get to leave the state with a friend for a few days and see other people who get frustrated, who have disobedient kids, and who still fight the fight every. single. day.  17 days till I find curriculum for next year (although I've done some online shopping) that I hope will be successful.  17 days till I get to go to some workshops/seminars on schooling or discipline or dealing with attitude problems (I've already looked at the schedule and I am drawn to those this year).  18 days till the Tim Hawkins concert and laughing till my sides ache at nonsense geared toward me.  17 days till I am only responsible for myself.  I can make it.  Even if we have battles every. single. day.  And homework every. single. night.

I guess I'd better go round them up again and try again to get them on task.  sigh.  17 days.....

How We got Our Princess! or Our Adoption Story (in short)

I’ve sat down at a keyboard more times than I can count to write this story….the story of how we made our family complete.  And yet, how do I put into words this exhilarating, exasperating, and sometimes exhausting adventure (which, incidentally, is excellent "practice" for motherhood)?  Still I keep trying, knowing that it is a story that needs to be told for our daughter, our sons, and future generations of our family. 

Unlike so many families who adopt, we have 3 biological sons and did not have any fertility issues.  We chose permanent birth control after our 3^rd son was born and before I gave in to my intense desire for a daughter.  Now, my husband was slower to jump on the “I think we should adopt a daughter” bandwagon.  But over the course of a couple years (yes, years), we would occasionally talk about it.  Finally, in December of 2010, we decided it was time to either take the plunge or forget it altogether.  Our sons were, at that time, three, five and seven. 

We told family at Christmas and, honestly, reactions were mixed.  They were concerned and uneducated and didn’t understand.  After all, we already had a family.  Looking back I understand their worry.  At that time we couldn’t explain things to them….we didn’t know anything ourselves yet.  And yet it changed nothing for us.

So the research began…..

At first, we were really drawn to international adoption but as we researched into different countries and their requirements, we quickly became discouraged.  The King was nervous about international adoption and the travel involved while leaving 3 young boys behind and we kept hitting roadblocks.  I was stubborn though and continued checking internationally.  I was nervous about domestic adoption because I was afraid we would never be chosen because we already had 3 children.  But after a time it was clear that God wanted us to stay in America.  By the middle of January 2011, that decision was settled and we found American Adoptions.  I was impressed by their website and then discovered that a family at our church also adopted through them.  After speaking with that family and chatting with Justin at American Adoptions, we had a lightbulb moment.  They couldn’t do our homestudy in IL so we also found our homestudy agency.  Another friend had worked with Illini Christian Ministries.  I spoke to Maria on the phone and had another lightbulb moment.  We’d found our agencies. 

I was intensely nervous about the homestudy and application processes.  But I got over it quickly.  The King was more relaxed about all of it from the very beginning.  After the first visit with Maria, before which I spent a week cleaning and scrubbing the house from top to bottom, I was able to relax.  She was wonderful and friendly and put me totally at ease.  It was clear she was working on “our side.”  Getting our homestudy ready was no longer as stressful….but it was nearly a full time job.  It was still by far one of the easier parts of the process (and I can’t believe I am saying that).

While we were completing our homestudy, we were also completing the application and paperwork and profile information for American Adoptions.  The hardest part about all of that was writing the essays.  I enjoy writing but I have never, ever, in my entire life said anything in less than 250 words (as you can tell from this story).  And yet with lots of editing and help from friends we got them completed at nearly the same time as we finished the homestudy. 

Oh the happy dance we did when we turned it all in and went active on July 26, 2011.  At that point we knew it could be any day.  Either agency could call with a match at any time.  We have been very open about the process since nearly the beginning (once our kids knew there was no need to try to keep a secret.)  After all, how can people become educated about something if those who experience it don’t share?  People asked questions and we answered them.  The only thing we knew for sure was that we would be getting a baby girl and she would be from somewhere in the USA.  If I could have gotten a shirt that said that or recorded it to play back, I would have saved so much time.  That was my primary answer to all the questions.  After all, we didn’t really have a lot of other information either.

In August, I was on a hike at a nearby State Park when my cell phone (which I NEVER put down) rang.  It was the American Adoptions number.  Could it seriously have happened so quickly?  Thankfully, I was not alone with the kids because I went into a happy panic almost instantly.  I had to sit down right there on the trail to take the call.  It, unfortunately, was not “the” call but someone suggesting we do a video profile.  We decided to go for it.  It certainly couldn’t hurt anything.

Since so many friends knew of our adventure, the baby gear started coming in.  One friend gave us (GAVE!) 3 garbage bags of the cutest newborn-12 month size baby girl clothes.  Another gave us a crib mattress.  We got a swing, bouncy seat, bottles.  The only thing we didn’t have was a crib and a car seat which for safety reasons we wanted new anyway.  Then my sister bought us a brand new beautiful crib and a close friend who I trust lent us her infant seat.  God was sending His “ravens of supply” before there was a demand.  It was overwhelming and encouraging during those difficult days of waiting.  I spent some time decorating a nursery with all the wonderful gifts that we had received.  And still the wait went on.

As 2011 turned into 2012, I got more discouraged.  Again, the King’s faith was much stronger and he took the passing of each month and the new year much more easily.  But we had now started this process a year ago and were looking at updating our homestudy.  During this time, my best friend delivered a healthy daughter and my sister got married and delivered a healthy daughter.  Soon after the new year my best friend found out she was expecting a surprise baby again.  As we approached the one year anniversary of activation, we did some updates on our profile as well.  During the long wait, I emailed Angie monthly to find out how many birthmoms had seen our profile.  After a time this was not encouraging and Angie kindly suggested I not ask for a while.  But I couldn’t help myself.  For one, I was curious but I also wanted to feel like I was doing something.  Illini had contacted us a few times about situations but only once did we ask to be shown to the birthmom.  She selected another family and the feeling of rejection was intense.

And still we waited.   We discussed at what point, we would “give up.”  After all our boys were now five, seven, and nine and we didn’t want too much space between our new daughter and our youngest son.  But we couldn’t fathom giving up.  And then we waited some more.  Until October 19, 2012, when the phone finally rang and it was the call we had been waiting for 20 months to get.  And that Friday evening at about 5:00 pm, we learned in a very personal way that God has a fabulous sense of humor.  After we did a happy dance and absorbed the information we got, I called my mom to tell her the fabulous news and get her set up for babysitting the boys while we traveled.  She was in shock that a) it was finally happening and b) how God worked it all out.

You see, our daughter was not a newborn.  She was 20 months old.  Math was not one of my strongest subjects in school, but even I can see quickly see that this means that our daughter was born about the time we decided to adopt domestically and started our adoption process; which means that if her mother had chosen adoption at that time, we would not have been available.  It also meant that the spacing between children was all worked out (funny how God solves those little “problems).  Another little tidbit we discovered was that our daughter was born in the month that the King was born and on the date I was born.   After learning more about our birthmom, it felt like she was a long lost sister.  Just little things felt familiar.  For examples, her mom loves to sing and perform.  We had chosen a name for our daughter but then we learned her given name.  Very quickly, we knew that we would not change it. 

After telling my mom all of this she decided that we had to clean the whole house (she was not wrong.)  After all, we were expecting a newborn and thought we’d have time to baby proof.  We’d run out of time to do that.  Plus we had to clean all the newborn stuff out of the nursery.  We wouldn’t be leaving until Sunday evening so we spent Saturday cleaning cleaning cleaning and were so tired that we actually slept Saturday night despite our excitement.

After a long drive to Kansas, during which we were able to talk to the foster mom who had the care of our Princess since Friday and get some pictures of her, we met her on Monday October 22.  She came to me immediately although she warmed up to the King more slowly.  (This slow warm up to daddy has been something we have continually worked on and she is SO much better.  I am still her first choice but he is a much closer second than he was 5 months ago.)  We also learned that birthmom wanted to meet us.

I was really unsure about this.  After all, the Princess would know her and would feel the separation all over again.  She had already been through so much in the last week.  But since she wanted to meet, we settled on a time at a nearby park.  We got there early to play with the Princess and we saw her birthmom and Ashley walking from the parking lot.  As her birthmom walked up she was smiling and she said “Hey baby!  Are you having fun with your new momma and daddy?”  The Prinsess ran to her and they shared a big hug before she gave the King and me a hug.  We visited for about a half hour and it was wonderful.  Meeting her was the best thing we could have done.  Before she left, she gave our daughter a hug and said “You are such a lucky girl.  You have a momma and a daddy.  We don’t know anyone who has a momma and daddy.  I love you, baby.”  As she walked away strong and dry eyed, I realized that she will be forever the person I think of when I hear of a woman’s strength.  There are all kinds of love and it takes the totally selfless love of a mother to say goodbye to her young child to give her a life different from what that mother can provide.

We have now been home 5 months and it feels like the Princess has always been here.  She has fit into our family seamlessly.  We’ve celebrated her homecoming, Christmas, and her birthday!  We have good days and bad days, she is 2 after all.  It would be untruthful to say it has all been roses.  But the joy outweighs the sorrow and the love of family and friends outweighs the ignorance of strangers.  As I come to the end of the story of our adoption adventure, I want to keep writing because, in truth, it is only the first chapter of many.  I can’t wait to see how the pages of the rest of our family’s story are filled.  But in all of them, we will not forget the lesson that God’s plan and timing is perfect and that great things come to those who wait.