Friday Facepalms #2

More funny things that happened this week.

After church:

G: Two of my friends were fighting over who got to sit by me in class today.  I told them "ladies ladies, there is enough of me to go around"
Me: which friends were they?
G.  (both BOY names)  But when I said it they stopped fighting.  

that's a peacemaker.  HA!

M:  There is no such thing as a toy weiner dog.

S: Are you sure?

M:  Yes.  There are toy poodle.  Muffin (my mom's dog) was one. 

S:  What if a toy poodle and a weiner dog had a baby.  That would be a toy weiner dog.  WAIT!  Maybe it would be a woodle.

M  or a pienir.  NO no not that.  

S: maybe not

G:  Lets pretend this conversation never happened

All:  Agreed.


G:  let me tell the story.  I was an eye-witness.  I wish I wasn't.  it was gross.
A:  I witness my eyes every day. 


By the end of this week, I don't really have a sense of humor and I just want to banish them all to their beds so they will STOP FIGHTING!  

"The Girl on the Train"

You know when there is an accident on the highway and traffic slows WAY down because everyone is slowing down to stare at the mess it caused.....this is book is 11 hours of that.   Well, if the accident is really one accident after another accident after another, and every one of them makes you cringe and think WHAT happened here and WHY but for some reason you can't turn away, then you have decent description of this book.

Switching from the first person perspective of 3 female characters, we get to experience all their emotions and thoughts and get to know them.  And then wonder if you really want to know anyone quite that well.

I don't like reading reviews that give too much away....but there is maybe 1 character in this book who is NOT a hot mess.  Rachel, the main character who is the "girl on the train" lives in a fantasy world and doesn't seem to be able to escape.  Unfortunately, the fantasy involves other real life people.  One of them, Meghan, appears to be a woman whose life is perfect (through the eyes of Rachel) but we learn she has some demons of her own.    And then there is Anna, who just wants to have her happily ever after.  We learn all the thoughts and dreams and fears of all 3 of these women.

If you like feel good books with happy endings, then I would avoid this one all together although everything is tied up nicely and we aren't left wondering what happened to someone.  If topics like alcoholism, adultery, infant loss, murder, abuse, or gaslighting trigger you in some way, or if the use of cuss words is offensive, this book is also not for you.  But if you like a fairly twisted mystery that really keeps you on your toes and in the dark for most of the book then I would recommend it.  Although a lot of horrible things happen, none of them are explicitly described (although there are some descriptions).

"The Historian"

by: Elizabeth Kostova

Intrigue!  Mystery!  Quests!  Travel!  Immortality!  Vampires!

For someone who enjoys something a little out of the ordinary and yet tied seamlessly into real world places and events this book was a fantastic adventure.

Written from a few different first person perspectives it was easy to jump over the line between reality and fantasy........ of course the fantasy world included a realer than real, immortal Vlad the Impaler/Dracula and several of his undead minions.  And yet, the writing makes it all seem perfectly feasible, in a darker more secretive world.

The book ties relatively modern day into history by switching from perspectives in the form of written diaries, oral stories, and historic documents with fantasy woven into every nook and cranny.  It explores relationships between father and daughter, colleagues, lovers, and others.

This is a book I'd recommend if you are comfortable with vampires and a darker edge to reality.  It was fast pased and interesting.  I enjoy historic fiction and sci-fi and this book had both in perfect balance.  The characters and relationships were well done and believable.   The writing was spot on.  And if you are into audiobooks (honestly, if you aren't you should be) the narrators are fantastic.  Dracula's voice was....well, you'd need to listen to find out!  :D

Monday Morning Musings!!

That resume I posted last week?...it was apparently enough.  I taught my first private ESL class to a student in China last week.  Seriously.  I taught a child on the other side of the world.  That thought still is just hard to wrap my mind around.  The world continues to shrink and I can reach people on the other side of the world in real time while I'm sitting in the corner of my bedroom (my current "classrom" location) and still wearing pajama pants.  :)

Sometimes being a stay at home, homeschooling mom feels like a fairly thankless job.  My children certainly are not thanking me for making them do school every day.  That battle is one I feel like I fight continually. Of course, Shane is thankful and rockstar level supportive.  My family is supportive and proud, I think.  I love my homeschool friends. I *know* my worth is not tied in any way to what I can earn.  But I am so proud and thankful for the ability to earn even a little something while I'm still doing what I know God wants me to do, homeschool my kids.

I currently have 3 more classes this week.  One is a 2nd booking from the student last week....talk about positive affirmation!!   I have to get up very early for me.  But I was more productive and not less.  I feel energized.  I'm more patient with the kids IN my house.  It has given me a push of energy.  I am so thankful.  Except when I fell asleep on the couch during a family movie at 7....but I woke up for the end.  I'll get it figured out.

I really didn't think I had much to offer a company.  I thought if I wanted a job I would be working at at a fast food place or waitressing.....which I still think I would enjoy on some levels (talking to other adults) and really not like on other levels (talking to other adults-HA!).  But this is an answered prayer because I set MY own schedule.  It doesn't effect my homeschool day.  And if I am unavailable I leave those squares blank.

It is so nice to feel like I have some control over something in my life.  I have a GREAT life.  I realize I am very lucky.  I know all this.  I get it.  But recently, I've found myself in a rut.  I'm still there a little bit.  I'm frustrated by things out of my control.    I am so thankful for the opportunity to get out of my head, and out of my house regularly (if only virtually), and do something that makes me feel useful (I know I'm useful but feeling it and knowing aren't the same thing).  And the opportunity to earn a little, even if its only enough to support my crafting habit, makes me feel very thankful. 


Just in case you are interested in an opportunity like this one...here is my referral link.   I would gladly help you get started.  :)

Friday Facepalms!

Since I'm a stay at home mom, you may assume my life gets a little dull....however, you would be wrong....So I'm going to try to keep a little log of facepalm moments each week.  

This week L asked for "ice cream burgers"  She wasn't overly interested in ice cream sandwiches. She got neither since the temp is in single digits.

One of M's spelling words was "wieners"  Seriously, they couldn't come up with ANY other -er word to pluralize.  Apparently, we both have the sense of humor of 12 year old boys.

L can read the word "Ann" but she can not read the word "an"  

Me:  M you need to clean your shower

M; YES!!!
Me: A you can clean your bathroom sink
A: ok.  can I go down to pappy's instead?
Me: Um No (weirdo)
Me: G you can clean either my shower, sink or toilet
G: I'll do your shower
L:  I GET TO DO THE TOILET!

Me:  (sighing) Ok, I guess you can
 That leaves me my bathroom sink.  Worked out pretty well   PS-I cleaned their toilet yesterday so it didn't need done today (and I threw away the toilet brush)

Me: You need to get ready for Awana
L:  What do I wear?
Me: leggings and a shirt
L:  Can I wear this? (holding up some clothes)
Me: well those are both shirts so you need some pants.
L:  Oh


I also said these words....."Pants are a requirement when packing for a trip."  Sometimes I feel like I'm really failing.  Why are my children struggling with the necessity for pants this week?!?!?!

MY RESUME

As the last year ended, we decided I would try to find a ligit work-from-home job. In doing this, it has made me think of what my "work experience" on a resume actually looks like.  It is both full and empty all at the same time.

I have a Bachelors degree but in my field of study (all those years ago) I would have needed to continue on and get a masters in order to work in that field (thankfully it is valuable outside that field)...Instead I got married and started a family and now my skill set looks something like this....

• story reader
• teacher to 4 grades at one time
• referee
• personal driver
• minor plumbing (as in using plunger or plumbing in a sink and drain)
• minor electrical (wiring outlets, switches, and light fixtures)
• basic construction and demolition
• interior design
• organizer
• laundry master
• dishwasher
• cook/baker
• balance/reconcile a checkbook
• gardener
• preserver of food
• menu planner
• penny pincher
• detective (cause "Nobody" couldn't have dumped all the toys on the floor)
• vet duties (including giving shots, jamming pills down throats and goat OB)
• knitter
• sewist (which is a term I'm not incredibly comfortable with but prefer over sewer-not to be confused with sewer-English is so much fun)....PS why don't we say seamstress anymore?)

I don't think any of those things will land me a job....but I feel pretty stinkin accomplished anyway.    And a few of them might actually help.  

I may not have a corner office (although my office is technically in a corner).  I have learned SO much as "just" a stay at home mom.  I also still have MUCH to learn.  As my kids grow I have to grow right along with them.  So I may not wear business casual every day....I may spend more time than I should admit in my pajamas....but I've got skills!! 

Oh, and I can also catch vomit that is not my own in my hands.  Not even joking.  So I guess college wasn't a total waste of time.  (Kidding!)  

New Year, New Goals, New Start!

So it is pretty safe to say that this blog had effectively died.  I haven't posted in a year and a half and that's ridiculous.  But as life ebbs and flows, some things stop and start and stop and start again.  As the kids have gotten older, I am finding myself with more "free time**", more creative outlets, more personal goals, and just more.  So I decided to pop back in here and see if I can write about it regularly.  I make no promises but I would like to try. 

**  free time is the time when my kids are entertaining themselves and I should be cleaning....but I'm probably not.  :)

So whats better for a new year than Goal Setting!

I've always got goals....Even goals for what I'm going to clean each week.  But I am setting some bigger goals for the year.  Sometimes they get done and sometimes they don't....and I'm ok with that.

1)  Bible - I've got the plan loaded on my phone to read each day for the entire year.  And finish the whole book in the year.

2)  Reading!  I'd like to read 24 books this year.  That's 2/month and audiobooks totally count.  Within this goal, I plan to primarily read books I've never read before.  I am open to suggestions.  I am going to have to chose carefully though because sometimes I pick books that are REALLY long (Outlander I'm talking to you- and Game of Thrones, you too)  {If you have suggestions I like historical fiction a lot,  a little sci-fi is cool.  I don't like romance without a bigger plot line, and I don't like thrillers.  YA is fine.}

3)  Knitting!  I am trying to knit with more intention this year.  I have so many (SO MANY!) things I'd like to make...but I jump from one shiny thing to another....So these are my subcategories.

•   Socks - 6 pair for me and 6 pair for Shane (1 pair/month)
•   Shawls- 3 total (I have patterns for 2 picked out)
•   Sweaters - 3 total (but depending on how well the first one fits I may scrap the last 2-I'm really struggling with gauge and fit on sweaters and its frustrating)
•   Other - It is ridiculous to assume I won't make ANY other things.  I have a girls trip to Chicago to Yarncon in the early spring so who knows what will strike me there.  But these are my primary things.

4) Sewing!  So I started a new thing in the last 6 months.  Clothes making.  And it is fantastic.  I absolutely love it.  And because I just can't do something a little bit I have also joined a thing for 2018.  It is a sewing challenge to sew one item each week for the entire year.  It is a very loose challenge but I'm going to go for it.  I plan/hope to track progress here.

5)  Fitness - the last 6 months have been rough.  I took the semester of taekwondo off.   I traveled for a month.  Then I had an outpatient medical procedure.  I'm going back to Taekwondo with the family in January.  I feel weak and soft and like the first night might just kill me.  But it won't and I'll be back in it full swing in no time.  I would like to start Bikini Body Mommy but I am unsure if the procedure from November was really all that successful (current signs point to no) so I may be having another surgery in February....so that will wait.


So, watch for updates....but maybe dont hold your breath....sometimes things get put on the back burner around here and I don't get it all done.  Personally, I will be using my handy dandy bullet journal (AKA my brain book) to track my personal goals.  A new year is always such a fresh feeling.  I'm looking forward to 2018 being fantastic from start to finish!  :D

Kelli